Hey everyone, how are you guys? Haha I did okay for my major exams and is now posted to a new college! I had to appeal though )-: But its alright because I got to make even more friends (even though I sometimes miss my friends at the previous college a lot). I sometimes think of it as fate because really, I realised everybody in my orientation group is linked to people I know previously.
Also, I think I might have been holding onto the past too long so I really should let it go since I'm already in this college.
But sigh, I'm driven mad. The syllabus is so different and I'm struggling to stay afloat. Even my CCA is not really going to help me relax. And I'm experiencing the worst feeling ever. I've broken a promise I made to my friend and, I don't know, trying to make up for it seems like a really bad excuse for breaking it. I feel so wretched now because well, I really like him as my friend. And I think he was looking forward to the promise I made with him and oh my god, I feel like I've rejected everything he asked of me. Oh my god. What on earth should I do?
How can I make up to him? I feel like a really bad friend. And he's one of the nicest friends I've ever met. He deserves someone better than me. So what should I do? I treasure our friendship a lot. Ranting because I have zero clue. Oh and I know he's already doing his utmost effort on his part to keep in contact with me and I really really appreciate it and now this. I think he's really angry because whatever I asked of him, he has done it for me. And yet I couldn't do such a simple act for him.
Such a horrible person I am.
On an entire note aside, everything moves very fast. I'm suddenly in a whole new environment and I've become quite uncomfortable. I cannot be myself because I suddenly don't know how to express my opinions. Everyone seemed to disregard mine so.. I cannot remember how I used to be like in the past. I can't seem to reach out for my inner self and tell myself that I'm unique. Sometimes, I feel like I'm trapped in an empty shell. Where am I?
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