Thursday, July 25, 2019

Break up

So I finally gathered my courage to tell him I didn't want a relationship for certain. As how guys are, he took it hard and was quite salty about it. Guys really do have prides.

I tried to put it nicely to him and we could have ended it there, but he decisively decided to push the blame to me. He said he did warn me and that I should consider being in a relationship if I couldn't hang on longer. I should have tolerated more, he said.

At this moment, I truly thank the Gods for helping me. He just ascertained for me that I made the right choice.

I showed my guy friend and boy, he was pissed off. He typed out a long message to help me rebut and told me I should knock some sense into him.

It took me one hour to craft a message I could feel satisfied with. Firstly I apologized because I did started the whole thing, and then whacked him for some reasons he said.

Tolerance? Sorry my friend, a relationship works only when I can tolerate it, and the fact that you don't seem to respect my boundaries is a big no. You just didn't seem to be the person. In fact, when you kissed me that night, it felt wrong.

You told me physical touch is your sign of affection. Again, many guys can hold back if they're just dating for a few days. You do not simply unzip everything in a single day of getting together.

Now then, I realised he really didn't have EQ.

He replied my messages and said, "well, very business and diplomatic as usual." Haha tbh, was that an insult? That's kind of funny. It's more of a childish stab to make me feel bad.

He said he actually wasn't ready for a relationship, and started trying to rebut by saying that he would be able to accept everything about his partner, and talk it out before walking away. Once again my dear friend, I am capable of that. It is just you who feels wrong. I do not want to continue with someone who didn't feel right. I am not going to change you to become someone who feels right for me.

Anyway, my first kiss and subsequent kisses are just small sacrifices. I am just so glad this case is closed before I become too invested in this relationship.

It could have been toxic, with me being unhappy.

I'm just so thankful for my friends who all saw through him, and kept warning me to get the hell out of it. They kept telling me that I deserved so much better.

3 days of dating was short, but it could have been so much worse.

Finally, this chapter has been closed.

I've learnt that you should never bring a guy to your room alone because they really do lose control of themselves. Secondly, do not enter into a relationship so quickly when you don't know him well. Third, if you don't think he is right in your gut feeling, trust it and get the fuck out. Fourth, always love yourself. He implied that I should have stayed longer, but no I don't think I want more nonsense like that from him. I deserve someone better.

I kept deliberating because I thought, what if he was only like this for 10% of the time? Maybe he showed it to me at the wrong time? But guess what, I texted a friend who was still in the summer school. I asked how did he find the guy and he replied that the guy has changed. Apparently the guy was a snake and did everything for a motive. That made it even clearer to me and I was so thankful for my choice.

I think it is very important for a guy to handle conflicts maturely (not a childish stab btw). He apologised too often that even an apology starts to lose its meaning. I don't want a guy who doesn't have confidence in his actions. I also want a guy who has his own life. From what I could tell, he would totally forget everything and focus on the partner only, with excessive affection.

All in all, I'm glad this whole disaster of a relationship, albeit short, is over.

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