Getting over

Strangely, I'm still trying to get over you. It doesn't hurt to think of you, but I feel wrapped up in a series of questions: what if I hanged on longer? Was I too harsh? Would I fall in love the longer I know him? Was he actually the right person?

But I'm young. I don't think he is the right person. Maybe I am just desperate for someone to love me the way I am. But you know what, I won't settle for someone who doesn't make my heart beat faster, someone who doesn't make me look forward to seeing him, someone who doesn't make me laugh with his jokes. 

I think he doesn't have to be perfect, the chemistry just has to be there; just like me and my gay friend. Too bad he is gay; we really suited each other and many people thought we were actual couple. 

I have to commit to my decision. Fate has been pushing me away from him; 99% of my friends were so certain that I would find someone better than him.

It is time to be patient; not to RUSH into things; and let him do the chasing. My job is to be myself, and to hang out more and most importantly, live my life productively and happily. 

Even though we broke up, I really treasured what he told me; it made me believe that there are people out there who don't mind. 

"I really don't mind. Nobody is perfect. And that in itself, is perfect." Maybe it's just some mushy words but it really touched me. 

Goodbye to the guy I gave my first kiss to. Although short, you taught me what I really wanted in a relationship, and how I really behave differently. 

I do enjoy the freedom of being single. It felt troubling to be tied down to a person. I think that also shows why he wasn't the right one for me.