1. Be open
2. Be direct and structured ie write down the structure first then clarify with supervisor ie these are the areas I'm not too sure about
3. Can let supervisor know your strengths and weakness
4. Always have the right attitude
5. Don't be too emotional
6. Can get stressed but once you cross that bridge you'll learn a lot
7. Really good opportunity to learn under a very experienced supervisor
8. May work until very late
9. Try to look at the upsides instead of the downsides
10. Not many interns have an opportunity to work on a new project so it's very exciting
11. Believes that there are always two sides to the story so be objective and list down the happenings. Sit back then think about the possible situations so you'll have a different reaction next time. Trains you to manage and analyse better in the future
12. Don't be fearful and hold back. Won't learn a lot
13. Even if you get abused, at most just once or twice. Learn from it.
Wednesday, May 3, 2017
Tuesday, April 25, 2017
Finals
I keep fucking things up this semester. For like a few weeks already???
My finals started last week and I fucked up that paper. Today I fucked up the paper too. When can I stop throwing away marks?? The real problem is that my papers are in the morning when my brain is so dry and not oiled yet. I think slower and when I think I got things under control, I FUCK UP.
I know I'm feeling so angry, upset and frustrated about myself. Gosh.
But I still have two more papers. It is possible for me to do better in them ie B+ or A- even though I fucked up my last two papers? OK let's not have any regrets. Let's put in 110% in my next two papers (even though there's no time) but I hope that I can finally say "Ah, it wasn't too bad." for my next two papers instead of saying "I fucked it up."
C'mon girl, confidence boost all the way!!! Stay alert too and sleep early yeah u and me can do this!!!! If others can do it, why can't you?
My finals started last week and I fucked up that paper. Today I fucked up the paper too. When can I stop throwing away marks?? The real problem is that my papers are in the morning when my brain is so dry and not oiled yet. I think slower and when I think I got things under control, I FUCK UP.
I know I'm feeling so angry, upset and frustrated about myself. Gosh.
But I still have two more papers. It is possible for me to do better in them ie B+ or A- even though I fucked up my last two papers? OK let's not have any regrets. Let's put in 110% in my next two papers (even though there's no time) but I hope that I can finally say "Ah, it wasn't too bad." for my next two papers instead of saying "I fucked it up."
C'mon girl, confidence boost all the way!!! Stay alert too and sleep early yeah u and me can do this!!!! If others can do it, why can't you?
Wednesday, April 5, 2017
Mentor tips #2
1. What is the pitch of your presentation? Ie what are the ideas you want to bring across?
2. Every slide, 1 main message
3. If too wordy, can say "let me navigate through this slide with you" or "let me go through this slide with you" to control the audience or if not the visual ones will read the content without listening to you + prevent them from going all over the place.
4. Practise in front of the mirror, and walk around the space to familarise the script more. Script can be at the back of your mind but you must be able to say the content in speaking language.
5. Go to the venue earlier to familarise yourself with the environment so that you'll be less fearful
6. Be confident when talking and that is only through practice
7. In her opinion, it's not the length of the message that matters, but the intensity ie pauses so that the listener can talk. The words cannot be too lengthy or it'll be difficult to digest. So when comparing, you can point out "what is the difference between these two? One is lengthy, harder to digest while the other one is short but intensive tone". Something along the lines.
8. Maintain eye contact when u pace a little.
9. Be unconventional ie 30 s about yourself
10. Meaningful pictures can be integrated into the slides
11. What is the effectiveness of this platform and the impact?
12. Tie your hair if you think the wind will make your hair messy. Think of all these little things to make a better presentation.
13. You can end off with what you believe in ie happiness so you make the ending slide short and sweet
14. Ask questions at the start to create tension. Think of the topic ie gender equality then generate questions ie have you ever felt that you were treated unfairly?
15. Can include experience specific to yourself ie this is what I experienced
16. Depending on the context ie lunchtime talk so content is light
17. Come up with a storyboard and a picture and pitch before doing slides and then script
2. Every slide, 1 main message
3. If too wordy, can say "let me navigate through this slide with you" or "let me go through this slide with you" to control the audience or if not the visual ones will read the content without listening to you + prevent them from going all over the place.
4. Practise in front of the mirror, and walk around the space to familarise the script more. Script can be at the back of your mind but you must be able to say the content in speaking language.
5. Go to the venue earlier to familarise yourself with the environment so that you'll be less fearful
6. Be confident when talking and that is only through practice
7. In her opinion, it's not the length of the message that matters, but the intensity ie pauses so that the listener can talk. The words cannot be too lengthy or it'll be difficult to digest. So when comparing, you can point out "what is the difference between these two? One is lengthy, harder to digest while the other one is short but intensive tone". Something along the lines.
8. Maintain eye contact when u pace a little.
9. Be unconventional ie 30 s about yourself
10. Meaningful pictures can be integrated into the slides
11. What is the effectiveness of this platform and the impact?
12. Tie your hair if you think the wind will make your hair messy. Think of all these little things to make a better presentation.
13. You can end off with what you believe in ie happiness so you make the ending slide short and sweet
14. Ask questions at the start to create tension. Think of the topic ie gender equality then generate questions ie have you ever felt that you were treated unfairly?
15. Can include experience specific to yourself ie this is what I experienced
16. Depending on the context ie lunchtime talk so content is light
17. Come up with a storyboard and a picture and pitch before doing slides and then script
Sunday, March 26, 2017
Scars
So last night I was scrolling through the Explore page of Instag and I came upon this person's page called molly something. After look through, I accidentally clicked "back" twice and I tried to find this person's page to no avail.
But apparently this person used to be so into sports until she sustained injuries that forced her to stop. I didn't manage to read in details but I know that she had a really long scar on the back of her neck and also her arm. In this blog, I found that what she wrote about scars to be so relate-able.
This person mentioned that she used to find her scars really ugly and would try to hide them whenever she could. She also said that with every stare on her scars, she would be reminded that she has them. She never felt belonged until she was understood.
She mentioned some tips on how to ask someone about their scars because the chances are that, every scar had a story behind it. The emphasis is that one must be sincere in asking. The fact that someone could understand that one can't feel belonged until the story has been shared rings a lot with me.
I felt that she was voicing out my feelings. I thought I was the weird one who can't feel belonged until the person knows my story. But I guess it is true for all those that has scars.
But apparently this person used to be so into sports until she sustained injuries that forced her to stop. I didn't manage to read in details but I know that she had a really long scar on the back of her neck and also her arm. In this blog, I found that what she wrote about scars to be so relate-able.
This person mentioned that she used to find her scars really ugly and would try to hide them whenever she could. She also said that with every stare on her scars, she would be reminded that she has them. She never felt belonged until she was understood.
She mentioned some tips on how to ask someone about their scars because the chances are that, every scar had a story behind it. The emphasis is that one must be sincere in asking. The fact that someone could understand that one can't feel belonged until the story has been shared rings a lot with me.
I felt that she was voicing out my feelings. I thought I was the weird one who can't feel belonged until the person knows my story. But I guess it is true for all those that has scars.
Monday, March 20, 2017
Strange tightness
I don't know what I'm feeling now. A sense of mortification? Or fear of the unknown?
I know that since I was a child, I have been absolutely terrified of the unknown. I also look down on myself. I know it's crazy but when I look at people who are like me, I feel intimidated. And I start thinking, oh, perhaps this is how people view me.
I mean, if I myself feel that way, surely others will see me that way. That makes me feel horrible at myself too.
Stepping out of comfort zone is a must but I feel terrified. It's like I'm having symptoms of social anxiety. I don't know. People say it takes practice to be used to it. Sure, but I hate that I have to TALK just to get participation marks. You have no idea how this semester feels like hell, and I feel so pressured to talk. I don't feel like I'm myself this whole semester.
I have started to withdraw a lot. And I really fear how people view me when I feel so inferior of myself. I know it's not my fault but I feel that I could have done so much more to show that I'm normal. But I see that this equipment I have is always a constant reminder to myself and others that no, I can never have a normal life.
It's crazy. I'm already very blessed in so many ways yet this crazy shit is eating my heart. I wish I could show it, and I wish others still would view me as really, just a normal person.
The upcoming concert is nowhere better. I have not told my people about my condition. What if they find out? Will they still let me tie my hair the way I want? Would I look like the odd one? I'm afraid.
And there's my studies. I feel exhausted trying every weekend to catch up with my studies. I feel so done. But I know I mustn't. This semester is REALLY REALLY important. I really cannot afford to screw this up.
Which is why I am pushing myself to do work. It's better to do something than not do anything or running away. Until I finish my finals, I am quite sure the next five weeks will be overwhelming and I definitely will feel like running away countless times.
I really don't feel at ease with myself. What's wrong with me?
But I have to push on. Even though I have very few friends that still stay by me, it's alright. Oh yes, I feel that those people are not really worth my worrying. Why am I still trying to keep the facade up? Actually, I should stop it. I feel awkward with them. If they don't want me, alright, I won't want you.
Anyway, I feel that it's time to get rid of burdens in my heart. Push myself, and be yourself. It will be over soon. If they see me differently, it's alright. I can always quit and change CCA. I don't deserve to be surrounded by people who see me differently.
That boy. I am waiting for the time I can meet him WITHOUT it being the wrong time haha he always appear when I'm preoccupied with getting to the next lesson venue, or when I'm tired, or when I'm worrying about tests. It would be good to talk to him, to really see if he is not intimidating as he looks.
I wish someone can prove me that I'm alright with who I am. That I have strengths that makes me special. Nobody has said the words I want to hear, up till now. Even my closest friends.
I know that since I was a child, I have been absolutely terrified of the unknown. I also look down on myself. I know it's crazy but when I look at people who are like me, I feel intimidated. And I start thinking, oh, perhaps this is how people view me.
I mean, if I myself feel that way, surely others will see me that way. That makes me feel horrible at myself too.
Stepping out of comfort zone is a must but I feel terrified. It's like I'm having symptoms of social anxiety. I don't know. People say it takes practice to be used to it. Sure, but I hate that I have to TALK just to get participation marks. You have no idea how this semester feels like hell, and I feel so pressured to talk. I don't feel like I'm myself this whole semester.
I have started to withdraw a lot. And I really fear how people view me when I feel so inferior of myself. I know it's not my fault but I feel that I could have done so much more to show that I'm normal. But I see that this equipment I have is always a constant reminder to myself and others that no, I can never have a normal life.
It's crazy. I'm already very blessed in so many ways yet this crazy shit is eating my heart. I wish I could show it, and I wish others still would view me as really, just a normal person.
The upcoming concert is nowhere better. I have not told my people about my condition. What if they find out? Will they still let me tie my hair the way I want? Would I look like the odd one? I'm afraid.
And there's my studies. I feel exhausted trying every weekend to catch up with my studies. I feel so done. But I know I mustn't. This semester is REALLY REALLY important. I really cannot afford to screw this up.
Which is why I am pushing myself to do work. It's better to do something than not do anything or running away. Until I finish my finals, I am quite sure the next five weeks will be overwhelming and I definitely will feel like running away countless times.
I really don't feel at ease with myself. What's wrong with me?
But I have to push on. Even though I have very few friends that still stay by me, it's alright. Oh yes, I feel that those people are not really worth my worrying. Why am I still trying to keep the facade up? Actually, I should stop it. I feel awkward with them. If they don't want me, alright, I won't want you.
Anyway, I feel that it's time to get rid of burdens in my heart. Push myself, and be yourself. It will be over soon. If they see me differently, it's alright. I can always quit and change CCA. I don't deserve to be surrounded by people who see me differently.
That boy. I am waiting for the time I can meet him WITHOUT it being the wrong time haha he always appear when I'm preoccupied with getting to the next lesson venue, or when I'm tired, or when I'm worrying about tests. It would be good to talk to him, to really see if he is not intimidating as he looks.
I wish someone can prove me that I'm alright with who I am. That I have strengths that makes me special. Nobody has said the words I want to hear, up till now. Even my closest friends.
Thursday, March 9, 2017
Learning points #1 from Mentor
1) The world is fair and equal about one thing, and it's the only thing: Everyone has 24 hours a day, and no one has a single minute longer than another.
2) If you are interested in this subject, make use of what the person is asking and help him to find out more; present your findings to him.
3) If the problem about team mates not doing any work, write in the whatsapp group like "X, have you done this?" "Y, thanks for the job done."
4) When a decision has to be made ie group deadline coming up, and your groupmates had a choice but neither exercised it, it is your right to make a decision on behalf of them.
5) Use "We" in group settings to be more cohesive.
6) Plan to minimize stress on yourself but surely things won't go the way you want. Be flexible if needed.
7) A highly driven individual/controlling person would not be successful in the long run. Soon she'll realise that she'll need the help of others ie managing 3000 employees and sometimes you'll need help from a person outside your organization.
Sunday, January 29, 2017
Pissed off
Such a fucker.
I really dislike how he manipulates everyone to do what HE wants? I really hate his habit of badmouthing people by claiming they are all "one of a kind". Fuck you have you ever thought you are ALSO "one of a kind"? How dare you claim others to be like that and not even bother to establish a connection with them? He really lacks kindness, really. My cousins may be in the wrong but they are young. How can you just say "I'll ignore them." with that black face. You don't even want to tell them they are wrong? How would they know? Just because you aren't blood related to them DOESN'T give you an excuse to ignore them.
And whatever he does contradicts with that he did in the past. Fuck you. He would say let's try this and see if we can get it. WHEN I WANT TO TRY SOMETHING ELSE, he says no you can't. What the fuck?
I strongly believe in the idea that you never know how far you get until you try it. He's always stopping me. And then he goes around saying that my sibling doesn't take opportunities BUT HELLO I'm trying to take an opportunity but he stops me? One second of insanity is all it needs to get that opportunity and you may or may not regret it.
He never supports me IN WHAT I WANT TO DO fuck you. When I'm still currently studying, he plants an idea in me by forcefully digging the soil. He wants me to do what he does but fuck you why can't you let me not have any biases yet and actually figure out what I want to do? I hate his attitude.
And he continues to say things like I'm a preschooler. AND sometimes he thinks I ask stupid questions but LIKE I legit dk?
Can't you just leave me alone when I just want to be alone? YOU don't have to be a genius to read me THAT I WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE fuck you. Many people say they can read my expression and you're telling me you can't?
Did you have to X me over something THIS STUPID? It's not like I'm not even ignoring you. I REPLIED. I said please let me rest for 15 mins. I want to drink and study with the idea that I took a break. It's not like I didn't try to hang in there. I waited for you for some time but my exhaustion took over. 15 MINS. I'M BLOODY FUCKING CLOSING MY EYES. JUST CLOSING. And you go on to say that you don't trust me and want me to get up. I'M SO FUCKING PISSED. And you had to X me. Over this bloody drink that you oh-so-hardworking-ly decide to make for me (when I initially told you I don't want that.) You get to rest while I FUCKING HAVE TO DO WORK like what the hell spare me the miserable drama ok. I legit have enough drama with him. Just no.
I really dislike how he manipulates everyone to do what HE wants? I really hate his habit of badmouthing people by claiming they are all "one of a kind". Fuck you have you ever thought you are ALSO "one of a kind"? How dare you claim others to be like that and not even bother to establish a connection with them? He really lacks kindness, really. My cousins may be in the wrong but they are young. How can you just say "I'll ignore them." with that black face. You don't even want to tell them they are wrong? How would they know? Just because you aren't blood related to them DOESN'T give you an excuse to ignore them.
And whatever he does contradicts with that he did in the past. Fuck you. He would say let's try this and see if we can get it. WHEN I WANT TO TRY SOMETHING ELSE, he says no you can't. What the fuck?
I strongly believe in the idea that you never know how far you get until you try it. He's always stopping me. And then he goes around saying that my sibling doesn't take opportunities BUT HELLO I'm trying to take an opportunity but he stops me? One second of insanity is all it needs to get that opportunity and you may or may not regret it.
He never supports me IN WHAT I WANT TO DO fuck you. When I'm still currently studying, he plants an idea in me by forcefully digging the soil. He wants me to do what he does but fuck you why can't you let me not have any biases yet and actually figure out what I want to do? I hate his attitude.
And he continues to say things like I'm a preschooler. AND sometimes he thinks I ask stupid questions but LIKE I legit dk?
Can't you just leave me alone when I just want to be alone? YOU don't have to be a genius to read me THAT I WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE fuck you. Many people say they can read my expression and you're telling me you can't?
Did you have to X me over something THIS STUPID? It's not like I'm not even ignoring you. I REPLIED. I said please let me rest for 15 mins. I want to drink and study with the idea that I took a break. It's not like I didn't try to hang in there. I waited for you for some time but my exhaustion took over. 15 MINS. I'M BLOODY FUCKING CLOSING MY EYES. JUST CLOSING. And you go on to say that you don't trust me and want me to get up. I'M SO FUCKING PISSED. And you had to X me. Over this bloody drink that you oh-so-hardworking-ly decide to make for me (when I initially told you I don't want that.) You get to rest while I FUCKING HAVE TO DO WORK like what the hell spare me the miserable drama ok. I legit have enough drama with him. Just no.
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