Confidence regained

I'm so very thankful to my sibling. I seeked his opinions just now since we were taught by the same person and the best comfort he gave me was that he understood my feelings.

He said he would feel the same way I feel if the incident happened to him. "Certainly, I would lose confidence subconsciously. "

Hearing that, I cried. Finally someone understood me. He told me to look at the facts to ease myself.

1. I was taught a longer time than he did. Much more longer by like one year.
2. My foundations are there, properly built since I had a longer time with her. He only had 5 months to build his foundation from scratch.
3. My language skills are better than his. It is definitely undeniable.
4. I practised much more than he did. Even though our learning styles differ, as I'm told by that person, I did more essays than he did.

He told me to have faith in my hardwork. When she is gone, it is only a small fraction of time over the past year that she taught me. I am not missing out much because it is really a small fraction and at this point of time, it won't really make much of a difference. I just need more time to myself to consolidate everything rather than learn new things.

Hardwork never betrays. Sure, luck plays a part too, he said. He learnt 3 laws of success from his coach. First law, hardwork. Second law, work smart. Third law, luck. We can only control the first two laws, but we can't control the last law.

Doesn't that mean hardwork doesn't really pay off if luck plays a part, I asked. He mulled over it for a while and said, I believe luck comes to those who work hard. He gave me his own experience about how insecured he felt for his chemistry and how hard he grinded.  On that day, the three laws somehow played. Luck plays a part in our lives no matter what. But we cannot control it, so why worry? At least with hard work, even with bad luck, it won't shatter too much or make a difference.

He said what i needed to hear most: "You are more than prepared for econs I believe, don't worry. Much more prepared than I was."

Now I feel like I have the confidence. I know what I am doing for econs. Just a fraction of time that she's not around doesn't make a difference. I just need to consolidate, look through mistakes and I'm ready to go. I had a lot practise compared to him (who is very smart and scored straight A). He posed a rhetorical question: "if you are more prepared than me and I can do it, why can't you?" And he told me how he honestly never needed to worry about my econs because he knew it is my strongest subject.

True, Econs have never betrayed me thus far. I should have more faith in the hardwork I put forth over a much longer period of time than he did. Why should I be afraid when I only missed out 7 (?) lessons with her before The Exam when I had like...  more than 30 lessons with her? The fraction is truly small. Sure, I missed her lessons from time to time, but she made up for it by spending more time with me, and it is one to one.

I definitely benefited more than my sibling ever did. Wow I really shouldn't have lost confidence in myself. I'm sure I can look at econs in the eye and say, look, I did you a whole lot more time than any of my friends and even sibling.

Thank you brother. You really said the words I needed to hear most and understood me through my crucial time. Thank you thank you.