Fight against my inner demons

Help me. I'm just so lost.

I have been fighting this huge battle with my inner demons. This voice keeps telling me I won't do well for econs. "I can't do it" "I'm scared"

I know that it's been a month and I expected myself to get over this trauma. But her last words to me was it is going to get harder.

I'm so frightened and insecured. When I'm alone in my quiet world where no one can bring me out of it, the demons keep me company.

It's not like I'm not trying. I'm trying very hard to shut this voice up. But it keeps coming to me and when it does, I feel like I lost everything. I feel so lost and frightened.

Someone please help me.

The only time I can forget my demons is when I'm with my crush. But it won't be long. It's so hard. How do people overcome this demon? I really don't know.

I know I already have a strong foundation for the past 1.5 years. But what troubled me is that I've never gotten to 90 percentile. Maybe once. But that was by luck. And The Exam is much harder than this.

I just need someone to encourage me. To say that I'm good even without that tutor. I've done well so far. I need to tell myself that. But even though it works sometimes, it is more impactful if a friend/someone who knows me well enough, can say that. My 'best' friend can't give me the words I need to hear most. Even when I told her my whole situation, she just cursed that tutor. And after that, she changed topic. She cannot see what a serious issue it is for me. I cannot really count on her to give me encouragement. She never really tried to sympathize with me.

I have to win this war with this demons. Once I do that, I'm very confident I can score econs. But winning this demon is what wears me out and I don't know what is the outcome of this battle.

I cannot give up. It's not a whether, but I MUST win this war against this voice in me. Girl, do you remember the sensation you felt when doing the papers? Yes. Remember it. Forget about the incident. Once you can keep holding onto the confident sensation, it's your win.

Be confident. You don't need her. What you need to do now is to be confident. This is key in defeating the demons within you. You can do it. You did well before, there's no reason you can't do it again. Fighting!