I am constantly trying to knock sense into myself (and it worked for a while), but when he asked if he could drink in my room, I nearly lost it. Knowing him, it won't go beyond anything else but I am afraid of myself of what I might do if I get tipsy.
So I suggested another place which was more public and I can only wait in anxiety if it would even happen (because we have a lot of other commitments).
For now, I'm struggling to rein in my feelings and to really just see him as a good friend. But even my friend thought that we were a little too close to be just friends, which is now a warning sign. But when we interact, it felt okay? Like we are close and I think we both enjoy each other's company, but there is always nothing beyond that line because we both know about his partner. I also don't feel jealousy about his partner so I'm a little confused if this is just a crush that will eventually pass.
I guess I'll just see it as just close friends or if not, just a passing crush that will eventually be over.
I'm not going to entertain anymore nasty thoughts. I'll only think about it if it ever happens but it is 100% not going to happen so what's the point of thinking all these weird things.
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