Just 3 days ago on 22 Nov, my bf professed his love for me face to face. I was quite thankful, but didn't know how to respond. I wasn't ready to say I love him (though I didn't rly mind doing it on text). I think I treat those words very preciously, and I found it hard to say it.
I adore him and I'm very thankful that he is quite considerate, easy going, and reassuring. Before that, we were "cuddling" at the bench near the playground, enjoying our quiet and intimate moment. I really live for moments like that. Initially I was asking him about my friend's situation, where he wasn't sure why he couldn't see himself with his gf in the future even though they had been together for 2 years.
My bf said that he needed to think back, what had attracted him to her in the first place. He thought it is really a waste to give up, which i agreed but I thought that if he were to be unhappy, it would be better to break up sooner than later.
Anyway, that was how it led to the cuddling moment, and I just like the vibes we have together. It's just cuddly; cozy and just really nice. Anyway, after I told him the story, he said this was the real reason why I didn't want to do it subconsciously. I was stunned when he said that, because I hadn't thought of that. He asked if I wasn't ready because I didn't know what will happen in the future and wouldn't want to give my first to someone if I was still uncertain. He assured me that he would do his best to reassure me, and that he could understand why I would feel that way.
He told me that he would wait, and hugged me. He said that it is fine, he would meet my family first. I told him we have a long way to go; our mutual friends don't know about us (we don't intend to tell everyone but rather, we shouldn't feel the need to hide). He agreed and we said we would take it slow as it comes along.
Anyway so when I was about to send him back, he professed his love and obviously wanted the same words said back. I couldn't bring myself to say it, which he felt really sad. I told him my reason why I can't say it because I would only say it when I truly am sure and I needed more time. He said we were probably not on the same page and that he needed to pace himself slower for me. I couldn't respond to that because I do agree.
I told him that I would not stop him from saying such words, but I just needed more time. Getting there but time is still the important factor for me. I can't lie for nuts. Anyway I told him that I still care for him because he is my "baos". He said that he would not use the 3 letters word to pace himself and make himself less disappointed.
But after saying that, he squinted at me for a few seconds, before hugging me and saying that he would still say "i love you".
His point was that he doesn't need to wait for the moment to say it (I.e. when the time is long enough, when the feels is there). He believes that commitment is most impt and that it should be said to express the feelings.
I asked him what does he like about me: he said that he liked that I'm considerate and I'm putting in effort as he is into the relationship. Not sure where the consideration comes from but yeah. Maybe I will ask him again.
I asked him how he knows its love, and he says that's no textbook feeling about love and it's different(?) for everyone. Strange right hahaha
No comments:
Post a Comment