Saturday, April 7, 2018
Thursday, March 1, 2018
H2O
I was looking through Ted Talks (btw it's the best platform to learn/motivate yourself) and I came across this video: https://www.ted.com/talks/raymond_tang_be_humble_and_other_lessons_from_the_philosophy_of_water#t-515352
I'm suddenly struck with familiarity of the situation he was mentioning. A sense of something missing. The poem that speaks a lot is this:
'The supreme goodness is like water.
It benefits all things without contention.
In dwelling, it stays grounded.
In being, it flows to depths.
In expression, it is honest.
In confrontation, it stays gentle.
In governance, it does not control.
In action, it aligns to timing.
It is content with its nature,
and therefore cannot be faulted.'
~ Tao Te Ching; passage #8
Like he mentioned, the water philosophy has 3 lessons that we can take away: Humility, Harmony, Openness
Humility: Water flows in a river. It always stay low. It helps plants and living creatures stay alive, and does not draw attention to itself, nor does it need any reward or recognition. Water is humble. But without it, there would be no life.
I'm suddenly struck with familiarity of the situation he was mentioning. A sense of something missing. The poem that speaks a lot is this:
'The supreme goodness is like water.
It benefits all things without contention.
In dwelling, it stays grounded.
In being, it flows to depths.
In expression, it is honest.
In confrontation, it stays gentle.
In governance, it does not control.
In action, it aligns to timing.
It is content with its nature,
and therefore cannot be faulted.'
~ Tao Te Ching; passage #8
Like he mentioned, the water philosophy has 3 lessons that we can take away: Humility, Harmony, Openness
Humility: Water flows in a river. It always stay low. It helps plants and living creatures stay alive, and does not draw attention to itself, nor does it need any reward or recognition. Water is humble. But without it, there would be no life.
- Instead of acting like we know everything/have the answers to all, it is okay to say "I don't know. I want to learn more, and I need your help."
- Instead of promoting our glory and success, it is much more satisfying to promote the glory and success of others.
- Instead of doing things where we can get ahead, it is much more fulfilling and meaningful to help others overcome their challenges so they can succeed.
This allows us to become more genuinely interested in the stories and experiences of people around us that make them unique and magical.
Harmony: When water flows towards a rock, it will flow around it. It doesn't get upset, it doesn't get angry. It doesn't get agitated. When faced with an obstacle, somehow water finds a solution without force, without conflict.
- Shift your focus from trying to achieve more success to trying to achieve more harmony, you will feel calmed and focused.
- Ask these questions: will this action bring me greater harmony and bring more harmony to my environment? Does this align with my nature?
You become more comfortable with who you are, rather than who you are supposed/ expected to be. You will stop focusing on things that cannot be controlled and only on the things you can. You stop fighting with yourself, and you learn to work with the environment to solve its problems.
Nature does not hurry. Yet, everything is accomplished.
Openness: Depending on the temperature, it can be solid, liquid or gas. Depending on the medium it is in, it can be a teapot, a cup or a flower vase. It is water's ability to adapt and change and remain flexible, that made it so enduring through the ages, despite all the changes in the environment.
- We live in a world of constant change. We are expected to constantly reinvent and refresh our skills to stay relevant. We need to be open to learn, open to unlearn and open to helping others navigate through the changing circumstances.
I basically typed out everything he mentioned, but boy, this is so meaningful. Let's try to see if we can apply this :)
Monday, February 26, 2018
Love yourself, give yourself one more chance
I think I'm struggling with this sense of self worth and it's really hard. There's like a big hole in my heart which hasn't been filled up. Its like I'm falling back to the old times of fear and worthless. This internship really made me question whether I made mistakes that others should not have made. Is my mistakes really that bad? Why am I not allowed to make such mistakes?
I'm new right? Why am I being judged for making mistakes when I haven't had a chance to learn from them? My gosh. And they treat me like I should have known it because of my school brand equity. Its like I shouldn't made this kind of mistakes because the previous interns don't. I don't know how they behave, but they could have been the cream of the crop. They make me feel like they think its a mistake to hire me.
Its really sad and I feel like this kind of environment makes me close off. I can't bring myself out when I get these kind of vibes. So painful.
They don't take note of a disability. Please be mindful of what you say because it can really hurt.
I want to go back to the club. To interact with people my own age rather than adults who are impatient. I wonder how they would feel if their own children are being born the way I am, and treated the way I am.
Its an event soon and I have to breathe. I am wonderful. I am great the way I am. My character makes people like me which is why I have friends. I may not be the most outgoing person, but I care. I will help you because I want to, not to take advantage of you. I promise to be kind always for there are people who may be even lonelier than me. I am good looking. Love yourself, give yourself one more chance. You deserve it, and only you can give yourself a chance.
I'm new right? Why am I being judged for making mistakes when I haven't had a chance to learn from them? My gosh. And they treat me like I should have known it because of my school brand equity. Its like I shouldn't made this kind of mistakes because the previous interns don't. I don't know how they behave, but they could have been the cream of the crop. They make me feel like they think its a mistake to hire me.
Its really sad and I feel like this kind of environment makes me close off. I can't bring myself out when I get these kind of vibes. So painful.
They don't take note of a disability. Please be mindful of what you say because it can really hurt.
I want to go back to the club. To interact with people my own age rather than adults who are impatient. I wonder how they would feel if their own children are being born the way I am, and treated the way I am.
Its an event soon and I have to breathe. I am wonderful. I am great the way I am. My character makes people like me which is why I have friends. I may not be the most outgoing person, but I care. I will help you because I want to, not to take advantage of you. I promise to be kind always for there are people who may be even lonelier than me. I am good looking. Love yourself, give yourself one more chance. You deserve it, and only you can give yourself a chance.
Saturday, February 10, 2018
Internship
Today marked a month since I started this internship and so far, it has been very difficult in terms of politics and interpersonal communication.
I've been given peanuts to do at work and I spent 95% of the time there doing nothing. Literally zero things to do. It is a struggle for me to waste my time and I also can't while my time since the office is pretty small and my back is facing the entrance.
Anyway, I've gotten this impression since the first week that I'm slow and uncertain as compared to the previous interns. It's really not nice to hear that. I told my supervisor about my medical condition and for a time, we've clicked. After that, she didn't really care.
Gotta remind myself that work is work. In the real world, people don't care about your medical condition as long as you are competent enough to lighten their workload.
But experiencing really made me wonder; how many people with this condition actually were able to prove to their bosses without letting them know about the condition.
Today, I had lunch with two of my colleagues and they were incredibly nice. They said, love yourself before others can love you. If she were to care about this person, she wouldn't mind the condition. Anyway, it is truly heartening to hear that.
My insecurities really grow and I feel really frightened of the uncertainty in the future. But my friend told me to give this a chance which I agree.
My cousin told me some really cool advice: stroke the dog the right way. Do it the other way and the dog won't be happy. Sometimes you have to purposely please her so that the relationship can be better. Other than that, you don't have to repeat her instructions to clarify. You can repeat a keyword to clarify.
I've been given peanuts to do at work and I spent 95% of the time there doing nothing. Literally zero things to do. It is a struggle for me to waste my time and I also can't while my time since the office is pretty small and my back is facing the entrance.
Anyway, I've gotten this impression since the first week that I'm slow and uncertain as compared to the previous interns. It's really not nice to hear that. I told my supervisor about my medical condition and for a time, we've clicked. After that, she didn't really care.
Gotta remind myself that work is work. In the real world, people don't care about your medical condition as long as you are competent enough to lighten their workload.
But experiencing really made me wonder; how many people with this condition actually were able to prove to their bosses without letting them know about the condition.
Today, I had lunch with two of my colleagues and they were incredibly nice. They said, love yourself before others can love you. If she were to care about this person, she wouldn't mind the condition. Anyway, it is truly heartening to hear that.
My insecurities really grow and I feel really frightened of the uncertainty in the future. But my friend told me to give this a chance which I agree.
My cousin told me some really cool advice: stroke the dog the right way. Do it the other way and the dog won't be happy. Sometimes you have to purposely please her so that the relationship can be better. Other than that, you don't have to repeat her instructions to clarify. You can repeat a keyword to clarify.
Friday, November 17, 2017
Project Disaster
Today is the last day of this semester and it's over but I still feel very helpless. I encountered a lot of problems during this sem, especially with a particular project.
Let me recap: There are 4 people in my group which makes us severely at a disadvantage as compared to other groups with 5-6 people. Let's call this girl J, this guy M, and another girl R.
So J and M don't respond to my messages in the group chat which is ridiculous because I saw that a blog post they did for an online learning module claim that they can't live without their phones. Which is equivalent to that they should be able to read my messages. But why are they not responding? This really led to a lot trouble subsequently.
Learning point: Confront them. Tell them that it is pertinent that they check their messages especially when it is near important project deadlines/ in the process.
We did meet up every Saturday at M's house, but there has been an incident before that made me very upset. Let's reflect:
27Oct:
4.53pm - I asked if we can have a meeting at 2 or 3pm the next day
4.54pm - J asked why so early
5.48pm - I changed the timing to 5pm instead
11.32pm - M asked if we having dinner together and i replied if his parents were cooking. He didn't reply
28 Oct:
12pm - M just said Wah
12.13pm - I asked again if we meeting at 5pm and let's eat dinner together
12.36pm - J said she having early dinner with her fam and if we are still eating dinner then she'll join us at 6pm instead
12.52pm - I said ok we'll still meet at 5pm
13.47pm - R said she would reach at 6pm and she was having early dinner with her fam
3.03pm - I said lets do 6pm (i was bz and my "friends" were angry at me. Was upset and forgot to tell my parents that we can eat early dinner. Decided that I would go over to M house and order takeaway instead)
5.54pm - M replied and said he was still outside having dinner and would be back 20 min later
6.01pm - R asked MJ later around 6.20pm can he fetch her
6.27pm - I asked M if I can go there or he is still not home
6.29pm - he said he was fetching R now
6.30pm - I asked how long more, and he replied that R was still 2 stops away
6.47pm - Ran out of patience. told them i'll be late cause I ordering dinner to bring over
6.48pm - J said she needed to leave at 9pm
6.51pm - R said I could go over and they were driving back
6.52pm - J said she had been waiting at his doorstep since 6.30pm
6.55pm - M asked his parents to open the door
I think from this conversation, MJ was at fault. He only told at nearly 6pm (our meeting time) that he would only be back at 6.20pm. R is also at fault because she said 6.20pm M can get her but 6.30pm she was still not at her designated pick up point. I doubt I was at fault because I decided to get dinner instead and when I got over there, M and R just reached too. J pissed me off because she knew we were rushing to do the script, and I was getting scolded, and she did not tell any of us that she had been waiting since 6.30pm. I assumed that everyone was late so since I lived nearby, I would not leave my place and put myself outside his door for 30 mins.
Okay that was the incident. Learning Point: The lack of communication ultimately led to this. If M did tell us earlier where he was at, we would have shifted the timing. My "friends" were ultimately pieces of shit because they were not there when I needed help. Guess that I do not want this kind of friends who scold me without knowing how much shit I am in.
From the start, if someone is not replying, we should just verbally tell the person that it is important that he/she checks her messages so as to avoid this mess.
R is seriously inattentive. Even I, who is at a disadvantage, know more about what to do than her. She always asks me where to do this and that, and when we have discussed before, she still asked me the same question.
Learning Point: Once or twice is okay. If it is always like this, she is nothing but a burden. Maybe should also tell her off for not being attentive.
Video showcase was a major disaster
Let me recap: There are 4 people in my group which makes us severely at a disadvantage as compared to other groups with 5-6 people. Let's call this girl J, this guy M, and another girl R.
So J and M don't respond to my messages in the group chat which is ridiculous because I saw that a blog post they did for an online learning module claim that they can't live without their phones. Which is equivalent to that they should be able to read my messages. But why are they not responding? This really led to a lot trouble subsequently.
Learning point: Confront them. Tell them that it is pertinent that they check their messages especially when it is near important project deadlines/ in the process.
We did meet up every Saturday at M's house, but there has been an incident before that made me very upset. Let's reflect:
27Oct:
4.53pm - I asked if we can have a meeting at 2 or 3pm the next day
4.54pm - J asked why so early
5.48pm - I changed the timing to 5pm instead
11.32pm - M asked if we having dinner together and i replied if his parents were cooking. He didn't reply
28 Oct:
12pm - M just said Wah
12.13pm - I asked again if we meeting at 5pm and let's eat dinner together
12.36pm - J said she having early dinner with her fam and if we are still eating dinner then she'll join us at 6pm instead
12.52pm - I said ok we'll still meet at 5pm
13.47pm - R said she would reach at 6pm and she was having early dinner with her fam
3.03pm - I said lets do 6pm (i was bz and my "friends" were angry at me. Was upset and forgot to tell my parents that we can eat early dinner. Decided that I would go over to M house and order takeaway instead)
5.54pm - M replied and said he was still outside having dinner and would be back 20 min later
6.01pm - R asked MJ later around 6.20pm can he fetch her
6.27pm - I asked M if I can go there or he is still not home
6.29pm - he said he was fetching R now
6.30pm - I asked how long more, and he replied that R was still 2 stops away
6.47pm - Ran out of patience. told them i'll be late cause I ordering dinner to bring over
6.48pm - J said she needed to leave at 9pm
6.51pm - R said I could go over and they were driving back
6.52pm - J said she had been waiting at his doorstep since 6.30pm
6.55pm - M asked his parents to open the door
I think from this conversation, MJ was at fault. He only told at nearly 6pm (our meeting time) that he would only be back at 6.20pm. R is also at fault because she said 6.20pm M can get her but 6.30pm she was still not at her designated pick up point. I doubt I was at fault because I decided to get dinner instead and when I got over there, M and R just reached too. J pissed me off because she knew we were rushing to do the script, and I was getting scolded, and she did not tell any of us that she had been waiting since 6.30pm. I assumed that everyone was late so since I lived nearby, I would not leave my place and put myself outside his door for 30 mins.
Okay that was the incident. Learning Point: The lack of communication ultimately led to this. If M did tell us earlier where he was at, we would have shifted the timing. My "friends" were ultimately pieces of shit because they were not there when I needed help. Guess that I do not want this kind of friends who scold me without knowing how much shit I am in.
From the start, if someone is not replying, we should just verbally tell the person that it is important that he/she checks her messages so as to avoid this mess.
R is seriously inattentive. Even I, who is at a disadvantage, know more about what to do than her. She always asks me where to do this and that, and when we have discussed before, she still asked me the same question.
Learning Point: Once or twice is okay. If it is always like this, she is nothing but a burden. Maybe should also tell her off for not being attentive.
Video showcase was a major disaster
Tuesday, September 19, 2017
Lonely
I feel rather down lately. Seems like I have bad mood swings but I have to know the right way to cope with my mood. I feel like I just want to travel overseas and just run away from all my commitments. Honestly I don't have much commitments but the pressure, more like social pressure, is hard for me. I made many friends last year but it seems like this semester, most of them are overseas for exchanges/ doing internships so I'm pretty much lonely. But my seniors are really nice but it's still hard for me to open up to them. I kind of really miss the people around me last year.
I also don't intend to take ___ seriously. I mean it's fun and all, but I don't mean to do it for real. I also feel frightened. I don't feel belonged to any group or any categories. Just really out-of-place. I don't know how to get close to any of the seniors without sending the wrong signals. I think they're really incredible and I really respect their passion and they're really really good at it. Which also means they won't want to get close to people like me, who doesn't want to take it seriously.
I wished I have the chance to learn a life skill but I missed that opportunity..... But there's a lot of opportunities which would be different but all I can do now is to wait. Feels like I'm at the beginning of this really long path and I don't know what to do. Taking responsibilities is really a pain in the ass. I like things to be done properly, and to the best of my abilities. I feel damn guilty for not taking it seriously but I also feel lazy.
My friends who used to live with me are no longer here. Pretty hard when all I want to do is to talk. It's difficult to have no one to study outside with. I think my symptoms show that I'm really lonely hahaha dear me....
I also don't intend to take ___ seriously. I mean it's fun and all, but I don't mean to do it for real. I also feel frightened. I don't feel belonged to any group or any categories. Just really out-of-place. I don't know how to get close to any of the seniors without sending the wrong signals. I think they're really incredible and I really respect their passion and they're really really good at it. Which also means they won't want to get close to people like me, who doesn't want to take it seriously.
I wished I have the chance to learn a life skill but I missed that opportunity..... But there's a lot of opportunities which would be different but all I can do now is to wait. Feels like I'm at the beginning of this really long path and I don't know what to do. Taking responsibilities is really a pain in the ass. I like things to be done properly, and to the best of my abilities. I feel damn guilty for not taking it seriously but I also feel lazy.
My friends who used to live with me are no longer here. Pretty hard when all I want to do is to talk. It's difficult to have no one to study outside with. I think my symptoms show that I'm really lonely hahaha dear me....
Wednesday, July 26, 2017
#5 lessons from mentor
1. There are leadership styles for different scenarios (when there is a crisis, you have no time to explain. When there is a need to fine-tune ideas, you can explain your decisions to others and see their comments)
2. Others can also learn from your decision making and see the whole picture
3. Engagement can only take place when the other party is reactive.
4. How to separate working and personal matters? When u r angry, focus on the topic and not the personality. It would hurt the other person. When you have a difficult conversation, write down to think objectively so that your emotions wouldn't overcome you
2. Others can also learn from your decision making and see the whole picture
3. Engagement can only take place when the other party is reactive.
4. How to separate working and personal matters? When u r angry, focus on the topic and not the personality. It would hurt the other person. When you have a difficult conversation, write down to think objectively so that your emotions wouldn't overcome you
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