Mum's words of advice

I'm so glad I talked to my mother. Haha the past few days I've been so nervous because I've started to develop feelings for a friend of mine hahaha but the weird thing is that I've never felt like that for him at the beginning of the year. But now that I've witnessed more of his good qualities and his smiles, I couldn't help it. Gosh haha but this is a whole new experience for me and I feel so awkward. I feel this burning sensation of desire. I feel like I want to get closer to him and know all of him.

Anyway, so I seek advice from my mum and here is a wise old advice: "Just create opportunities and don't think about diving into a relationship. Just go out there and enjoy your time with him. If it comes, it'll come."

OK MUM. I'm just going to create opportunities with him and have fun yayyy and not think about all these nerve wrecking feelings.

No matter what, I am very glad to have met him I'm not kidding. He gives me courage for things I feel shy to do. Oh and she also said its normal for you to have strong feelings for a person even if it started later on. Just leave it for a year or so and it'll soften. So yup, anyway I'm going to enjoy myself with him ahaha and just get to know him moreeee.

She also shared with me a couple of her 'love' experience and its kinda funny hahahah I never knew some of those stories.

That goes to prove how parents are the best people you turn to when you need advice :-) Thanks mum.

I won't get retained

The more people I meet, the stronger my desire to not get retained 💪💪💪 like hell no, I refused to get retained and I will promote together with people I love.

Thinking positively, this is just another challenge for me and I can overcome it.

Prep talk

There's slightly less than one month left to this considerably major exam. My grades are improving slightly, yet I feel so insecure that I may screw up my promos and not get promoted. After my mid year exams, I could really feel this dark monster called retain wrapping around my soul. I guess that should give you a better idea of how bad it was. Never in my life have I felt that retaining is so real and so close to me. I'm precariously hanging on the cliff of results. I have not even started revising because I'm still trying to catch up my homework. As I see, 29 more days. There really isn't any time left. I rather suffer now than suffer from regret and sorrow.

But yknow dear girl, you've been through so much obstacles since you were born. With your determination and drive, I'm sure you'll see your way through this exam and look forward to next year with your friends. Your seniors, your sibling, everyone, have been through this and made it through. I'm very certain you can do it too!

Appreciation post to friends I love

It's amazing that I've met a number of great people in college. It is never expected, to be honest. I thought that it'll be a torture to get through college (and yes it is still, academic wise) but my friends are giving me the motivation to push through. I'm so thankful for that and I really love you guys!

Sometimes I'm wondering what I am to the other party but I shouldn't think too much. If the other party likes me, he/she will do his/her best to maintain contact as well :) Either way, this is like one of the happiest period in my life thus far. Just the recent Saturday there was a WILD RUN which was da best. Then yesterday was a productive night study date with the guys. They helped me so much I cannot even express my thankfulness. Maybe I should just buy loads of chocolates for them during valentine day :/ (I pray it won't get awkward)

To that person, thanks for being like the sun to me and giving me the strength to get through life. You have my utmost respect :-)

Disappointment of someone

I swear I keep feeling like the ground should just swallow me up when I cannot meet expectations and keep seeing disappointed faces. And will you pipe down, stop blaming everyone. Sometimes I do wonder whether it may be better for you to not care about it at all. Maybe it'll spare you the misery of worry. Is it really better if you forgot it all? I really wonder..

Fate

If we are really fated, our paths will cross many times :-) I'll put my faith in Fate. I'll leave our relationship like this because even I'm not sure what it really is haha oops

And the world hums

Hey everyone, how are you guys? Haha I did okay for my major exams and is now posted to a new college! I had to appeal though )-: But its alright because I got to make even more friends (even though I sometimes miss my friends at the previous college a lot). I sometimes think of it as fate because really, I realised everybody in my orientation group is linked to people I know previously.

Also, I think I might have been holding onto the past too long so I really should let it go since I'm already in this college.

But sigh, I'm driven mad. The syllabus is so different and I'm struggling to stay afloat. Even my CCA is not really going to help me relax. And I'm experiencing the worst feeling ever. I've broken a promise I made to my friend and, I don't know, trying to make up for it seems like a really bad excuse for breaking it. I feel so wretched now because well, I really like him as my friend. And I think he was looking forward to the promise I made with him and oh my god, I feel like I've rejected everything he asked of me. Oh my god. What on earth should I do?

How can I make up to him? I feel like a really bad friend. And he's one of the nicest friends I've ever met. He deserves someone better than me. So what should I do? I treasure our friendship a lot. Ranting because I have zero clue. Oh and I know he's already doing his utmost effort on his part to keep in contact with me and I really really appreciate it and now this. I think he's really angry because whatever I asked of him, he has done it for me. And yet I couldn't do such a simple act for him.

Such a horrible person I am.

On an entire note aside, everything moves very fast. I'm suddenly in a whole new environment and I've become quite uncomfortable. I cannot be myself because I suddenly don't know how to express my opinions. Everyone seemed to disregard mine so.. I cannot remember how I used to be like in the past. I can't seem to reach out for my inner self and tell myself that I'm unique. Sometimes, I feel like I'm trapped in an empty shell. Where am I?

Beautiful Opera Song by a 9 year old child

Hello! It's been a long time hasn't it? My major exam results will be released sometime next week and I'm really scared and nervous about it! I'm least confident in like, english, social studies and perhaps, chemistry. Anyway I was surfing the internet (kinda) and heard this beautiful song. I was seriously blown away. It's incredible and I feel so happy for the girl (Amira Willighagen) for being able to work towards fufilling her dream. She deserves it!

Stunning. I do agree with the public that her voice is like an angel. It's so seriously beautiful. Please listen to it. I still have chills down my spine :-) Amira, you have a new fan here!!! Fighting!

Oops perhaps I'm lagging behind. She apparently won the Holland's Got Talent! CONGRATULATIONS!! FIGHTING again! Would love to hear more opera music from you!!